Dear Friends,
Spilling grace is
“the Spirit’s” work. There was a problem
that had arisen in the ministry. People
appeared to have been unjustly handled. I
didn’t want to go into the space where people I loved and respected were
hurting, talking in whispers, frightened – in tears. I needed to have a “conversation”
about that. So, as my habit is, I went
to the “steps” of my soul and met Him there.
“Lord, God how do I respond to this atmosphere of
fear? This sense of betrayal?”
“Spill Grace.”
“How do I do that?”
“Be full of
the Holy Spirit. He is the Spirit of
Grace. Stay in touch with the thoughts
He brings to mind: The ideas He will give you of ways to touch a hand or say:
“I’m so sorry, what a loss!” or “would you like a cup of coffee, I’m praying,
want to talk? I’m a good listener: try
me!” Offer your heart.”
“I can do that.
But Lord, when we are at the table face-to-face,
and my friend is talking about how she’s been treated and I’m hearing things
that make me boil or weep, what do I do?”
“Remember,
you’ve only heard one side of the story. I’ve heard it all. In fact ‘before a word was spoken I knew it
all together!’ Give people the benefit
of the doubt.”
“How do you stand it, Lord? Listening to all this stuff a million times a
minute?”
“I am God.”
“Oh! Of
course. Problem is Lord, I’m not!”
“Remember that!”
“Got it! So, I’m to listen remembering You know all the
twists and turns in the matter. All the
past doings and sayings and all the future yet-to-be doings and sayings too?”
“Yes. Read
Psalm 139.”
I stopped and
read the psalm. It’s one of my
favorites! Then I continued the
conversation. (Why don’t you stop and read it, too?)
“So when I’ve finished listening to her?”
“Give all parties the benefit of the
doubt. Be generous of spirit. It’s not
your job to judge people’s motives. That’s
my work!”
“They don’t sound as if
they deserve the benefit of the doubt, Lord—oops sorry. “Err: Do I say anything
to her about the people in question?”
“If it’s full of grace.”
“Bother! What
about full of truth?”
“You can’t know the truth here.”
“Well then that sort of limits the conversation!”
“Limit it
then! The time may come when you more
fully understand the truth. Then you may
need to speak it in love. But that is
not now. Grace finds many words.”
“How will I
know if what comes out of my mouth is full of grace or is coming from a
critical judgmental attitude?”
“You’ll know.”
“Yes, I
suppose I shall! So – you’re suggesting offering words someone doesn’t
really deserve? Something kind: forgiving?”
“I’m not ‘suggesting’ Jill!”
“Oops, sorry Lord!”
“Grace gave you what you didn’t deserve. Now let
that grace spill over.”
“But isn’t that condoning a wrong?”
“Offer a word
of grace that has nothing to do with the situation at hand. Remind your friend of my grace for all people.
Say things like: ’you know often such
words are said or deeds happen because there is deep anger or unresolved pain
behind the offense. We don’t know the
motivation. We don’t understand the ‘why
of the situation yet.’”
“Then what?”
“Focus your conversation on what you DO know.”
“But what do I really know, Lord?”
“That I
am God and I am good – all the time. I am in control even when it seems all
evidence is to the contrary. That I have
the matter in hand. I am not absent,
unaware, or unconcerned about all the tears and heartache. I love you all: both offenders and
offended. Start there.”
So I invited my
crushed friend to coffee and I did my best to be a true friend. After we had read Psalm 139 and talked for a
long time I heard the Spirit say:
“Now it’s time to
pray.”
“Here?”
“Here.”
“What do I pray?”
“That your
friend responds with grace to the situation as God would have her respond.
Grace in word and action. Grace offered when grace has been offended.
Grace knows how to handle offense. He
does it all the time!”
“The
unfairness of it all rose up inside me. ‘But why should she Lord? They should be spilling grace over her, and
not expunging her character! It’s not fair.’”
“Right, that’s what grace is for – when life
isn’t fair!”
“Well they
should do it first!”
“In Starbucks?!”
No answer! So
I reached across the table and took her hand and we bowed our heads in that
crowded room and found ourselves “beneath the praise of angels.” (You can you
know even in a coffee shop!) Above all the commotion we both clearly
heard His voice.
“Praise Me.”
“But how can we praise You for a wrong thing?”
“I’m not asking for your praise for a wrong thing: not for
‘it’ but for ME!”
“Oh.”
“When you
can’t praise Me for what I allow, praise Me for who I am in the midst of what I
allow!”
“We can do that.”
“I remembered He
had said to me at another time in a similar situation, “When you’re lost for
words it helps to borrow others. So we followed His advice (good move)
and used His servant David’s words.
Search me oh God and know my heart
Try me and know my ways.
See if there is any wicked way in me
And lead me in the way everlasting.
So there at the
table we walked right into the throne room. And
we worshipped the
One who “bore our griefs and carried
our sorrows.”
Then we ordered
another cup of coffee and talked about “the way” forward.
I listened amazed
at my friend. She talked of an idea that
had come into her head as we had prayed that prayer. An idea how she could “spill grace” over the
perpetrator of the hurt. It was a great
idea, a sweet idea, an “Amazing Grace” idea! And I bowed my head and wondered
greatly at the Spirit’s work.
Would you like to have
a conversation too? Where do you need to
spill grace? Spend some time journaling your thoughts today.
Blessings,
Jill Briscoe
Executive Editor
Just Between
Us magazine
Thank you Jill. So very timely - I was just talking with a couple of young people about this very issue - truth vs grace, discernment vs a critical spirit. I'll share your thoughts with them!
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